Understanding How the Ego and the Self works in Jungian psychology
Now understanding how the ego and the self works it had to do with repression, and so the first repression is when the ego is formed and this is why the ego is associated with suffering and because having an ego puts a damper on your unconsciousness and make you live out of the line with the truth and so whenever you actually get back in touch with the self and you being yourself back onto the alignment with the self, there’s this sense of relief and a release about it, and I’m going to tell you my experience of the self but before I do that I want to differentiate two things, so what I’m going to talk to you about is the ego transcendence and do I’ve had two experience of the ego transcendence before where I had a direct connection to the self and this is something that happened to me when I was 20, so it was quite a while now but then there’s Also the concept of individuation which was created by Carl Jung and basically this is where you’ve developed a strong and healthy ego and then from that state of having a story and healthy ego.
At that point you can start to integrate the shadow, the anima and the animus and the aspect of the self as well, so individuation is similar in some ways but it’s not quite the liberty experience of being completely free from ego, but they do have a relationship but what I’m about to talk to you about is not individuation.
I’m talking to you about ego transcendence, now my experience with the ego transcendence happened before I knew anything about the ego transcendence and Jungian psychology but what ended up attracting me to Jungian psychology several years later was that I had s very hard time making sense of what had happened and because I didn’t know the concept of ego or ego transcendence or anything about consciousness related anything, and so for about 3 years after the experience I really frowned quite a lot because I didn’t quite know what I experienced I really frowned quite a lot because I didn’t quire know what I experience and the first sense of stability that o get was looking into the Jungian work and then the work of other Jungian authors and that really helped me sort of get on my feet about what had happened and what was going on with my psyche and really how to reconcile something with my identity, with my ego and so I think that Jungian psychology is a really great tool for understanding how the psyche works.
Especially if you’re looking to transcendence the ego or if you’re looking to maybe look towards the deeper aspects of the society psyche and do process like shadow work, and like Its an excellent model for understanding things and it’s being really good for me personally.
Now I have my experience of the ego transcendence I’ve far two of them and both of them happened when I was 20 and that was about pitch and understand how things came to be. The was that they were with my ego in the first place and so when I was a child I always had this baseline sense of intensity and I just had this sense that I would just blow everyone out and I had some trauma experience.
But I can’t really point at one particular thing that made me feel so much lesser, all I know was that I always had this deep feeling of self loathing that I really hated much. Now I still have this to a certain degree and I’ve done a lot of wonder work but I’ve still have sort of a sense of self hatred that I CBA detect that’s long beneath the surface, but when I was a child I was really strong and I had a really difficult time coping and because I hated myself so much, It really collected a lot of negative attention to me because people could tell that I had weak boundaries and I didn’t really repeat myself a whole lot and so kids who would look to a bullying other kids, would definitely have in on me for that.
Now as a teenager I was able to sort of discover my strength and discover my creative work and I had developed a lot of positive Traits and trialing that were sailed upon and I was able to build my ego up in such a way that I didn’t really feel all the time that I hated myself because I liked my ego that I had created because I had lived this intelligent, creative and iconistic and ironic a little edgy and I had this ego that I actually fit really well, into the social metrics that I was willing and I felt like I was finally sailing along and I really did feel a strong person at that time and do I progressed though out my teen years I was able to leverage these strengths to create and even more strengths Iike I developed a really strong work ethics and I had a lot of goals, that I had a lot of direction in life and you know essentially I was able to cope so much better than I was able to cope as a child, and so I got really attached to my ego and I really thought this is who I am, I an this person my identity is who I am and I didn’t have any knowledge of anything else going on inside of me, now deep down I still hated myself I was still looking and underneath all those barriers and ideas that I had created of myself that was still that same child in there that was living in the sane way.
Because I didn’t want to see that aspect of myself that was still a child that I hated I decided to create my ego structure in a while that was very rigid and very strict and so any th8g that fell outside of the range of how I wanted to be perceived and how I watched my ego to be well that was a danger to me and so I would repress it right away, using all kin(s of self deception just trying to myself constantly and not knowing that I was lying to myself and so essentially what I did want my really rigid ego structure was that I’ve painted my consciousness to a corner and I had given myself so few options for how to see myself and for Joe to be and anytime that I want seeing myself with 100% optimization where I could see myself in just the particular way, it was feeling if self hatred would crop up again and I would feel so terrible about myself because I want able to match up this particular state that I had.
So when I was a teenager I was someone who had a really strong ego structure especially for my age, because I was able to cope very well with the situation that life has handed to me. But at the same time I had no knowledge of anything beyond what i was doing and what I had identified myself as, there was nonsense that I had a shadow or that there was anything else going on underneath my ego, I thought essentially what I an is what I perceive myself as and the moment that I think something about myself, well that most be true because I thought it so of course I know, but I didn’t know and underneath the ego there was so much more going on that I didn’t realize that was there, the shadow and then there was the self then there was this two experience of the ego transcendence both of which were very different experience and I’m going to focus more on the second experience when I talk because that one was for more insightful the first one was very much about like a correction to everything out in nature but perhaps too many insights come up and I did have some but the second one was really just the matter loath of insights coming up,
so the first what would happen was there was an unceremonious dropping away of the self concept and so I had laboured and laboured to create this self concept that was just this particular way and I had carried around and I was the stewards of this self concept because I really had to sacrifice a lot of things for it, and to just try to make it contain it, it was a struggle and I didn’t even realize it was a struggle, but then when it dropped away I realized how much of a relief it was to let go of that burden because I no longer had to carry around that self concept, I just realized that the self concept wasn’t really had anything to do with me, so this self concept wasn’t really had anything to do with me, so this self conscious that I’ve being talking about me was just a collection of thoughts then because I had the ego all the traits that I have repressed away to protect that ego structure and to keep it from being undermined all those things that I had ignored over the years to just effortlessly bubble back up into the field of consciousness to just effortlessly bubble back up into the field of consciousness.
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That’s one thing that I found out about the psyche at that Point is that every aspect of the psyche is always trying to come up. And become conscious and its only just our barrier to our awareness that actually stopped it from covering up, so the biggest barrier of course is our ego, do our ego keeps us from becoming conscious of those aspects of ourselves that are underneath the surface and what really helped with was because I lost my ability for a self deception like with the ego I was able to rationalize things sway and convince myself that things were a were that were not, but without the ego I had no need to do that and it was really clear and plain as day when I was lying to myself and it was that deep wisdom of the self just knew and so it was actively clear to me when I was crying and when I was taking it about myself then it must be true I had no idea that I could even lie to myself about the content of my psyche, because I believed myself but it was one of the biggest snickers when I got myself back with the psyche and didn’t have ego there was OMG, I was lying to myself like once a while and I haven’t being realizing it, Ive just being engaging it and these thought process and assumed that I was telling the truth and because of this clarity and because of this fact that the ego didn’t need to be protected it was like face that the ego didn’t need to be protected it was like my awareness really labored out and I called it at that time of ticking my thoughts out of my head cause it felt like my thoughts went from small to large.